Do You Hear What I Hear?

I can tell that Londyn responds to sound now. 

She recognizes music and begins to dance.

When I wake up in the morning and grumble, her elbows scrape across my stomach.

When her daddy gets home from work and kisses my belly to say hello, she starts doing aerobics.

It's amazing how even though there are still 3 months until she makes her appearance, she has already made her presence known, and is somewhat aware of what is going on around her. 

This girl is definitely growing like crazy too. I've had numerous people tell me "Well didn't you just pop out over night!?" The most significant sign that makes me realize she's growing though is Mike saying "Man, you really have gotten a lot bigger this past week". He sees me everyday, so its hard to notice changes, but even he can tell lately. 

I can definitely tell too. She has some hard kicks and elbow scrapes at this point in my pregnancy. Monday, she lodged herself right up by my ribcage, to the point that it hurt, and I had to help her work her way back down.  From that day, I've noticed my ribcage area has been extra sore. It started mainly on my left side, but has moved to both sides now. Mainly when I am sitting down, I get a sharp pain right under my bra line. I can get complete relief with a pressure point though, so it's manageable.

It has really began to hit me lately that this isn't just a cool experience. I'm not just counting down time to an event, like a child does for Christmas each year. The anticipation continues to build, and 3 months from now, that anticipation will transform into an overwhelming excitement. From that point, it will be a complete whirlwind of emotions and experiences, for the rest of our lives. I absolutely can't wait. For me, I think one of my favorite things, is watching Mike and Londyn interact. He is an amazing man, outstanding husband, loyal friend, hardworking employee, inspiring trainer, but in 3 months, he will add the title of loving father to his list of attributes that make me fall in love everyday. He already loves talking about and talking TO his princess. He's already all about spoiling her too. He's definitely very protective already too. It really has been a joy to watch him form the connection with her. 

Our connection as a couple has transformed too.  We've grown so much closer as a couple; I've learned to trust Mike as my leader, and drop the "Miss Independent" status; We have learned to trust God and watch him come through, in every circumstance. Soon we will learn how to be parents, together, to a sweet baby girl. Life is so much fun with him!!

A lot has happened in the past few weeks! Mike was offered and accepted a job within Sam's Club that allowed us to move back to Northwest Arkansas. Initially we thought that I would actually have to stay in Tulsa alone until about mid-January. It wasn't ideal, but until God opened some doors, due to insurance, and our lease agreement, it seemed to be our only choice. Sparing a long story, just trust me when I say God opened a whole bunch of very specific doors, that allowed us to move back to Northwest Arkansas TOGETHER. There is no way we could have made this happen without God's divine intervention and favor on our lives. (One door that was opened by "man", was my parent's door. They are so graciously letting us stay with them until Londyn is born and we are able buy a house, without rushing into one. This is a bigger blessing and stress-lifter than I can ever put into a blog. So mom and dad, thank you so much. You guys are a God-send. Not many people can live with their parents, or in-laws. We are truly blessed, and love you more than we can say!)

We are so thankful we will be able to give birth to and raise our daughter surrounded by friends and family. It's going to be a blast! Ok, so to close tonight, I have a very special feature from Londyn's daddy, and the love of my life. I asked him just to email me a little something for tonight's blog. I told him it could be anything he wanted.....and this is what he sent, unedited......

"Well with each passing week this Daddy is getting more and more excited to meet his little girl! It's hard to contain the excitement knowing we are only 13 weeks away. While you don't know this yet we have moved you from Tulsa, OK back to Fayetteville, AR. (Our hometown) so that means you will be born in our home town and Razorback country around the family which we are very excited about! Your poor momma is having problems sleeping because you are getting so big. It doesn't bother her too bad though because she knows that means you are getting closer to being out here with us! Baby girl, daddy loves you SO much already and can't wait for you to be here with momma and I! Praying for your healthy development sweet girl! See you soon! :) 

-Daddy"

Adrenaline Junkie...The Ugly Side of Pregnancy....and Hulk Smash.

My whole life I have been an adrenaline junkie. I absolutely live for a rush. Whether it be bungee jumping, parasailing, riding the ejection seat, or finding the fastest, scariest roller coaster; I just love the feeling of those few seconds that I have no control whatsoever.

I know what some of you are thinking, especially if there are any men reading this...."You're crazy, women never like to be out of control of a situation". Okay, so maybe the adrenaline rush is what makes me crave those out-of-control experiences.  Either way, I can't get enough of the high.

Recently I've learned something new. There is absolutely NO rush, like that of feeling my daughter kick, elbow, knee, and prod me with her tiny limbs. Every now and again she'll break out in dance and do the worm, causing my whole belly to jiggle. Normally "jiggle" is not a word I want to use to describe my body...but when it's caused by her, it brings me joy.

I've never been super-sentimental, touchy feely, or lovey-dovey. I've always been the joker, the independent girl, and every now and again show a hint of sarcasm. (see what I did there? lol)

So when people would talk about how "there is NO feeling like being pregnant", and that it was just "impossible to describe, you have to experience it...".....I may have smiled and agreed politely that I just "couldn't wait" to feel that. However in my head, I was rolling my eyes and thinking "Ok, really, you just described the feeling of tasting chocolate for the first time, theres nothing like it, and you just have to experience it yourself to understand the magnitude of it's imperfection."

My goodness I couldn't have been more wrong. It really is a feeling like no other. To try and wrap my head around the fact that there is a human being that is half me, half Mike, growing inside of me....it is harder to comprehend than college trigonometry for a girl like me. It's mind baffling. Then, when I seem to feel her swimming around...or when she decides to ball up on one side of my stomach, though it gets uncomfortable, I can't help but smile and hold my stomach as if to hold her. I think my husband might get tired of me constantly grabbing his hand and saying "did you feel that?".

Aside from the excitement of feeling her frequent movements, there have been a few "ugly" sides to the pregnancy thing, lets just keep it real.

Remember my last post about the pain I was having in my lower back, that I attributed to some sort of kidney pain? Well, if you remember, they ruled out infection/kidney stones. However, they never did an ultrasound on my kidney, which in retrospect after talking to nurses at my doctor's office, when I was in labor and delivery, they should have done that. As of this week, I have had NO more episodes of pain. Up until this week though, it was consistently happening every 2-4 hours, and the only relief I got, was getting in a warm bath. Heating pads did nothing, it was something about the weightlessness of water. So what has changed this week? I'll tell you what. My daughter, before this week, constantly balled up on my right side. I mean, the girl must have found it warm and cuddly over there, because I was always lopsided and hard as a rock on my right side. This week, she has shifted to my left side, doing the exact same thing.

After talking to my doctor again at my last appointment, and after reading up on several medical forums with women who had the exact same symptoms/relief methods as me...I think basically the way Londyn would lay on my right side was pinching off the tubes and what not that let my kidney release fluid. So my other kidney made up for it, which may be why no infection showed up on the initial test. My kidney was probably backed up with fluid and swollen, and that is why the weightlessness of the water helped relieve pain. Anywho, I don't care what it was, the pain is now GONE, and baby girl is FINE! :)

Lastly...can we just talk about the effect it has on my mood? I get so stinking emotional....and sometimes just grouchy. It comes out of almost nowhere too. Sometimes I can feel it coming on a little in advance because I feel myself getting irritated over silly things...so in those cases, I will try to warn my husband and apologize in advance for the hulk in me that may come out. If I want a certain food....if Mike doesn't want to get it for me, I need him to tell me, so I can just go get it myself. I'm not into the begging or patience business when I'm in these modes lol.

Taco Bell in Broken Arrow Oklahoma was at the receiving end of my hulk-smash last night. Lets just say if I go there again, I need to watch them prepare my food, for a couple reasons. One, so they understand that I really mean ONLY cheese on the top of my mexican pizza...and two, to make sure they don't spit in my food, because I wasn't so nice last night. Hey Jack, it was the 6th consecutive time they messed up my order, they had it coming. lol.

Alright, I think I've bored you long enough now!

To close, I just want to say to you Londyn Brooke....that I hope that I make you proud as a mom. I promise that I will do my best. I want to raise you to be a responsible, contributing citizen, and most importantly, a God fearing young woman. I also want to be your friend. See, with my mom, your Mimi, I feel extremely blessed. We have a very unique and close relationship. I know it has a HUGE part to do with how she raised me. That is the kind of relationship I hope to have with you little lady. I love you so much.

A lesson on what NOT to say to a 1st time mom at 22 weeks

So this past week has been very eventful. Lets start with the beginning shall we?

Last weekend I was in Fayetteville visiting family, and for Amanda's baby shower. Well, I didn't know it would be the start of a fun little story. Saturday morning, around 1:00 a.m. I shot awake with an excruciating pain in my lower back, just on the right side. Those who know me, know I've got a really high pain tolerance. This pain had me crippled. I called my poor husband crying because I was in such pain. I got up and went to the restroom, chugged some water, and finally 45 minutes later, the pain subsided enough that I could go back to sleep. I was glad that was over.

Or was it?

Nope. 2 hours later, I woke up in the same pain, except it was twice as bad. Never knew a pain like that. I hobbled to the bathroom, tried to use the restroom again. It didn't relieve anything. I got my phone out and started trying to search the internet for what could be causing the pain. Anything I read, led me to either kidney stones, or kidney infection, or water on the kidneys. None of which sounded fun or safe for little Londyn. I read that lemon juice would help dissolve the kidney stones if that is in fact what the issue was. I was willing to try anything at this point. So I found a bottle in mom's fridge, and drank 3 oz of straight lemon juice. I thought it was helping a little. I went and sat on the couch in the living room, assuming my sleep for the night was over. I even managed to wake my poor dad up, and after convincing him I didn't need to go to the emergency room, he went back to bed. So then again, about 45 minutes later, the pain subsided enough to get back to sleep. Surely it was over now.

Guess again.

Around 6:30a.m. I had my 3rd episode. I could not believe the pain could possibly be worse than the first two times. By this point, I was scared to death, all that could go through my mind, was that if I am in this much pain, I can't imagine the stress I must be putting on Londyn. I cried and cried and cried and prayed and prayed and prayed that God would protect my sweet baby. I couldn't imagine anything happening to her, which is why to this point I still wouldn't take any medicine in fear of harming her. I told myself first thing Monday morning as soon as I was back in Tulsa, I would call my doctor.

Saturday and Sunday throughout the day, about every 2-3 hours like clockwork, I would have another episode. It seemed as if I was either getting used to the pain, or it was possibly getting better! I still decided to try and call my nurse to see if they had a 24-hour phone line. They did, but it was for emergencies only, and I was afraid my situation wouldn't be considered an emergency and they'd charge me an arm and a leg. So I just decided to grin and bear it, and stick to my lemon juice routine until Monday.

Finally Monday rolls around, and I called my doctor Monday morning before work to leave a message. I didn't receive a call back, so I called my doctor after work again, and spoke with one of her nurses. She had me explain my symptoms, and said she would talk to my doctor and then call me back. Before I could get out of the parking lot, within 2 minutes, she called me back, and said the words that inspired my title of tonight's blog. These are the words you don't say to a 1st time mom at 22 weeks pregnant, with no explanation....

"You need to go straight to labor and delivery"

My....heart....dropped. I couldn't even form the word "why?"....I just hung up, called Mike and told him, and then cried uncontrollably. He left work to meet me. I gathered myself enough to then call my dad (mom was in a plane in the air still). As soon as I heard his voice, I cried again. I've never been more scared in my life. I didn't know why I was going to labor and delivery at 22 weeks, I didn't know what she thought the pain was, I just knew I was scared. I could only imagine the worst, that my body was trying to deliver the baby too early....something was wrong.

I got to the hospital and they checked me into a room, ran a few tests on me and baby. Hearing her heartbeat was the sweetest sound I could hear in that moment. She told me everything with the baby was completely fine. Now they just needed to figure out what was wrong with me. 2 hours later, tests came back. No infection...no kidney stones. So at this point I was letting a huge sigh of relief! At the same time...I was wondering what in the HECK could cause such pain?

My doctor's diagnosis? Well, she wasn't quite sure, all she knew was I was clear of any infection. She concluded that I had probably severely pulled a muscle in my back, and it was cramping up. She also told me I was calcium-deficient. So I was told to get better pre-natals, and prescribed hot baths and cold ice therapy at home. She even told me that I could take aspirin for a couple days if need be, since I was in my second trimester, it was okay for just a couple days. I haven't felt comfortable enough to do that. I have however continued having these episodes of pain, which have resulted in daily (sometimes multiple times) hot baths. Simple sitting wrong, or taking an awkward step will drop me to my knees. (In fact, midway through this blog, I had to run a hot bath and take a break because I had another major episode)The difference now, is I know our sweet baby is okay, so I'm okay. I can manage pain as long as she is okay!

Our God is so GOOD! We had quite the scare...I was picturing and imagining the absolute worst case scenario, and fairly so in my opinion since that nurse didn't tell me the reason I was going to labor and delivery. Turns out it was because they could get immediate test results rather than wait 2-3 days if I had went to my normal doctor's office.

All in all, everyone is okay, I'm fine, Londyn is fine, and Mike is fine now that he knows how to help a raging preggo manage her pain lol.

WE LOVE YOU LONDYN! Absolutely cannot WAIT to meet you and kiss those little cheeks!!

142

142. Never knew I could have such an obsession with a number. That is the number of beats per minute little Londyn's heart beats at 20 weeks.

At the most recent ultrasound, for her anatomy scan, we got to not only HEAR the heart beat, but SEE the heart beat, all 4 chambers, and the blood flowing through the heart. It is mind-blowing to see such detail in such a small being. Every single minute of everyday, I have 142 things to be thankful for. Those precious beats are Mike and I's entire world.

Another fascinating thing we learned was exactly how Londyn "breathes" right now. See, its something I had never really thought about. I mean, I knew she didn't actually breath in and out while inside of me, because she is in fluid, and her lungs haven't expanded yet. Mike asked the doctor how that process worked. She explained that the baby is getting all of her nutrients through the umbilical cord while she is in me, including oxygen. Mike understood and made his realization aloud. He said "So, when she first enters the world, she immediately takes her first breath, using her own lungs that have expanded for the first time. That must be a lot of change for the body go through for such a tiny human. No wonder they cry." We kinda had a little laugh, but a thought hit me immediately.

In our walk with Christ, we go through a phase of growth and development; similar to the time the baby spends in the womb. God spends time forming our vital parts, training our hearts, and filling us with purpose that we will one day discover. All of our spiritual nutrients comes directly from Him through reading the word, spending time in prayer, and worship. Without him, we simply couldn't continue to grow and develop. Then, there comes a day where we must learn to take our first breath. God has already given us the lungs we need, we just have to do the work now. So as we are thrown into our calling, we take a big breath. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes God has to smack our back to get the gunk out. Sometimes he has to shake us up. Eventually though, we take our first breath. It's scary, and new, but we quickly find, each breath becomes more familiar, and a little easier. Suddenly we are doing what we were made to do, with no thought at all, it just happens. As a baby grows older, it continues to breath. Maybe she eats something a little too fast, and her breath stops until the obstruction that is choking her is dislodged. Maybe her breath is briefly taken away when she falls into the water, unable to swim. Remember though, she didn't forget how to breath, and as soon as Mommy or Daddy, or a by-standing family member  saves her from harm, she continues breathing. The same principal applies in our spirit walk. No one ever promised that we wouldn't have times that the breath gets knocked out of us, or that we wouldn't choke, but God always saves us, and we continue breathing, just we we always have.

Now, tonight's blog ventured off a little bit from what you're used to reading. This is how I know Londyn is meant for greatness; because I know you came to get the updated story of her little life, and while you did get a bit of that, I believe some of you were led here because God wanted to remind you of something. What he called you to do, he already formed in you a long time ago. You haven't forgotten how to breath, so just inhale his blessings, and exhale his praise as you walk in the anointing and calling placed on your life.

Londyn Brooke, Mommy and Daddy love you so much. I know we say it a lot, and Mommy writes it a lot. I know we overload Facebook at times with photos and statuses about you at times. Baby, its only because we haven't yet been able to SHOW you how much we love you. Sure, we can buy you things, and talk about you all we want, but nothing will compare to the first time we can hold you, kiss you, and raise you in the Love we have learned through Christ. We can't wait to meet you sweet love, you're beautiful, and meant for greatness.

19 Weeks and Counting...(You see what I did there? lol)

This week on 19 weeks and counting.....

So it's been a little while since I last blogged! A lot has happened I feel like, but I don't know where to start, what to share, and what to spare!

How about starting with last weekend, Londyn's first big shopping spree! My sister, Stefani and I went to Rhea Lana's re-sale consignment event! We got into the pre-sale for "Mommies to be"! I was so excited! All in all, I spent just under $150 and got all of the following items you see in the photos! Stef also got some Christmas gifts for the kids, and some SUPER cute Joe's jeans for Annabelle! We couldn't believe no one had snagged those puppies up, with tags and all. Of course, I expect them to be passed down to Londyn in the future ;)

Dad was pleasantly surprised with everything I was able to get for that amount! The clothing downpour doesn't stop there though! Just last night I got pictures from Aunt Stefani showing us everything Annabelle would be letting Londyn borrow once she is here! There are PILES of stuff! Clothes, shoes, headbands and bows, toys, blankets, the works! Londyn is going to LOVE her cousin Annabelle and Aunt Stef for spoiling her!

Aside from the shopping, little Londyn Brooke has been an active, and growing baby! She has been stretching mom all out, which can be painful at times! Ligament pains, back pain, hip pain, and headaches galore! I'll tell you what though, I wouldn't trade it for the world! Nothing a warm shower can't help. Plus,  Dad has been gracious enough to rub Mom's back a few nights as she tries to go to sleep!

I also discovered that Londyn is going to be a lot like her momma. She doesn't like seat belts like her mom. See, Mike always has to remind me to wear mine or I won't put it on half the time. I've been better since being pregnant because its not about me, its about this sweet little girl. Well, every time I click my seatbelt, she starts kicking and rustling around like crazy! Cracks me up! Another thing that leads me to believe she'll be a mini-me, is her sense of humor! She likes to pick on dad already! He laid his head down on my belly the other night to try and listen in on her. As soon as he sets his head down, she kicks him, right in the ear! It was too funny! Then tonight, we ran to Krispy Kreme to get a FREE hot donut! (Who can turn those down?) Its like as soon as that hit my belly, she was up and at-em again! If I remember right, Krispy Kreme is also what got cousin Greyson up and moving when he was still in Stef's belly! If she loves donuts as much as her mom and Greyson, I better start stocking up now!

It is so hard to believe that 19 weeks have come and gone! Next week, October 2, is baby girl's big 20-week anatomy scan! She gets 2 special appointments in one day! One with her normal doctor, and one with the anatomy scan doctor! She likes the camera, so I'm sure that will make her happy! Mike and I sure are excited to see her again! 

Londyn, we love you sweet girl, and can't wait to hold you in our arms! We're almost half way there! 

How about another closing 2-cents from dad?

"Londyn, you must already have me wrapped around your finger, because anytime you get a craving, mom lets me know, and what baby wants, baby gets! Also, thanks for kicking me in the ear the other day!"

Londyn's First Flight and Appetite

So this past weekend, Londyn went on her first flight with Mommy! She did great, not making mom sick, or hurt at all! She did remind mom that her energy isn't what it used to be, because by the end of the weekend, mom was ready to hibernate. Too bad theres this thing called work.

She had so much fun running around Nashville with mom, Aunt P, and cousin Aven! Got some sweet outfits to doll her up in. I couldn't resist the tiny little hot pink pants, leopard jeans, or cardigans! Plus, she just HAD to have the shirt that said "Daddy is my King", because Mike refers to her as his princess! It's just the start of the shopping fun! It's probably best if Dad doesn't see every single receipt after a day of shopping ;)

Another really cool thing has happened since my last post! I felt Londyn kick for the first time! I was at work on my lunch break, and had just got done eating. Well, she rustled around a bit, and I thought I felt her, but wasn't sure. Just as I was thinking "Could that have been....", she gave a big strong kick, 3 times, and I knew for sure it was her! I couldn't stop smiling for the rest of the day! It really made it sink in, she is a real baby, growing and developing....and she's our baby!

For a tiny baby who's not even here yet, the girl already communicates her love for food! She is definitely her Momma and Daddy's child. We love eating, and we're good at it! Every single time I eat, this little one starts rustling around, kicking and punching with happiness! I've been feeling it for a little over a week now, but last night was a treat, when daddy got to feel her for the first time! She gave a couple of strong kicks or high fives to dad! It was the coolest thing, and Mike's face was priceless! She really likes carb-loaded foods, and sugar. So if I ever want her to move around, I know what to do! That's probably not a good thing for my eating habits, but hey, she is worth it, and what baby wants, baby gets ;)

I'll be 17 weeks tomorrow, and it just doesn't seem real! I can't believe how quickly time is passing! I am trying to savor every moment of this time in her little life, but at the same time, I'm growing more and more anxious with each passing day to kiss her little face! God has already proven over and over that this child is favored. I just received the call today that the test for down syndrome, and the screening for another abnormality (in which the name has escaped me), all came back perfectly normal! It was such a big relief for us. I know regardless we'd love her and God would give us strength and wisdom to raise her, no matter the special circumstances. It would just be a whole new journey!

Well, to close, I guess I could answer a question I've had from a few people....What is the craziest craving I've had...? Well, to be honest, I haven't had any crazy cravings. I really have had aversions to most things, sweets, mexican foods, most fried foods, chicken....etc. The only thing I can say I've consistently "craved" is carbs, such as pasta and bread, and then anything pickled. Which really if you know me, none of those are out of the norm. So I've been fortunate enough to enjoy the pregnancy so far and only gain 3 pounds without paying a lick of attention to what I eat. (Other than what is safe and necessary for Londyn) We'll see how much longer that lasts. And that's all folks! Thanks for following us! We're having a blast! Love you all!

It's a BABY!!! ;)

So today has been a long time coming, an anxiously awaited day! Finding out whether baby Haney is a little boy, or a little girl? Hmm.....??

Well, we got prepared yesterday, or tried to anyways. We set out to take our gender reveal pictures, one for a boy, and one for a girl. We had this really cute idea of getting a blue ice cream cone, and a pink one, and long story short, we'd end up both eating the color of what represented which sex we were having. Well, seeing as how Oklahoma heat is hot as all get-out....that lasted about 2 minutes, before our cones were completely melted away! So we got ONE picture of the two of us, but no actual gender REVEAL photo. Needless to say I was bummed. So we had to improvise. On to the mall we went.

We stopped in at Finish Line, and had the nicest guy bring us out like a million different shoes in OUR size, and baby size. So, rather than be mean and keep you all in waiting....I'll just share the photo!

Friends and Family, in February, we welcome Londyn Brooke Haney into the world! We are absolutely ecstatic!! Yes, Mom was completely prepared for a boy, but I am THRILLED about getting a ton of lacy pink things and making this little one a doll! Dad is going to be wrapped around her little finger too!  AHHH! I am so excited!! We love you little Londyn!!!

Well That's New....

15 weeks. 

I can't believe we are already that far along! That's how I feel in this moment anyways. Other days, it's more like "I cant believe we're only 15...weeks...along."

Recently I've had a couple of new fun symptoms pop up! Let's talk about the first one :

Streeeeeetching.

Lately I have the constant feeling of how you feel after eating a large meal, and you know you've over done it. Well, minus the sick-feeling. It's more of just the SUPER tight stomach, and "If I would've eaten one more bite, I'm sure my stomach would split open like a dry chapped lip" feeling. My stomach constantly feels hard, and stretched to it's natural limit. So needless to say, that has prompted me to up the dosage of my "Mother's Friend" stretch mark cream.

Not only do I feel stretched to the max externally, but internally, I feel like my body is beginning to adjust too. Now I cripple in fear and get into the fetal position when I feel a sneeze coming on. Thanks to ligament pain, I have a sharp pain in my lower abdomen with each little sneeze. It scared me at first, but my doctor assured me it was completely normal. Along with the sneezing pain, I feel like right under my ribcage, theres a slight twinge of pain. Nothing crazy, but enough to notice. So I wonder if at almost 4 months in, maybe I'll start to actually look pregnant soon, and not as if I just can't lay off the donuts and cheesecake.

The second, and probably more concerning symptom that has come up, is :

The dreaded pregnancy brain!

This is one that I feel was extremely unfair, and all of  you veteran mommies should have warned me about! It snuck up on me like an unexpected lunch-burp during an important meeting. It was a very unwelcome guest on my list of symptoms. Let me just tell you about the mess it has made for me already.

1.  I forgot to take the trash out before I left for the weekend, that trash bag had crab leg shells in it. Let me explain why this made me furious for a couple reasons. One, I was ashamed I could eat that much food by myself, and was trying to hide it from my husband. (Get that holier-than-thou look off your face, we all do it) Two, and probably the most prevalent reason being..THE SMELL!!!! Walking in Sunday night to a house that had NO A/C running all weekend with 95+ degree weather, made for the thickest....most rotten stench you could imagine. I immediately headed straight for our bathroom, feeling sick as a dog, doused my fingers with the first cologne I could get my hands on, and shoved them up my nose! THEN I sprayed my entire pillow with the cologne, held it as tight as I could, and tried to hurry to sleep to escape the smell. I woke up 4 times that night....because of the smell. Here we are on Wednesday, and I still go through the routine of leaving my door and windows open for the first 2 hours I'm home, and then point a fan towards the door to filter the air that way. I have gone through 4 candles, 3 wax melts, and 3 full cans of air freshener since Monday alone, and the smell is STILL here. Thank you pregnancy brain.

2. It almost ruined my life. That is an extreme statement, but it is true! Let me explain. Monday night I made a trip to Walmart to pick up a couple of tote boxes. See, we sold Mike's computer desk, and I needed to store everything that we had once stored in that desk. So I get the tote boxes, maybe a box of Bagel bites or something....push them in my cart out to the car, put the cart up like EVERYONE should, and go about my merry way. The night passes, nothing seems off. Tuesday passes, still, nothing seems off. I mean, once I got to work, I realized my wallet wasn't in my purse, but I just assumed I left it at home as I had done many times before. So still, nothing had me worried. 

Then came this morning. I was about to stop at the gas station on my way to work, to get a drink. It is then that my eyes shot wide open, and I furiously grabbed my phone and screamed at SIRI to "call Walmart on Kenosha!!".

 ---NO SIRI, NOT MCDONALDS ON KENOSHA. 

 ---NO SIRI!!! NOT WEB SEARCH FOR WALMART PHARMACY. GOOD GRIEF! 

So finally, like a primate, I actually TYPED in "Walmart Kenosha" into Google, and called them. I explained with a faint heart what my wallet looked like, recited my drivers license number to them on my ID, and 3 painful minutes later, the lady comes back "Yeah we have it!". The next words out of my mouth, I once again blame on pregnancy brain.... "You're kidding me! I could hug you, and I know you're probably not even the one who turned it in! I hope my cash is still in there! I never carry cash but...well, never mind, just thank you! I'll be there after work around 4!" It was like I had diarrhea of the mouth, I couldn't shut up! Luckily that woman was as honest as the person who turned it in, because NONE of my cash was missing, none of my debit cards had been tampered with, my social security card was still hidden and untouched, and my sweet baby ultrasound photos were still there. It looked as if no one had even opened it, I still had a loose receipt in there, not even in a pocket! I couldn't help but think about how much MORE of a mess I would have been in, had someone dishonest taken my wallet. With my social security card in hand, they could have caused me a life-long headache. I have never been more grateful in my life for the good people left in this world! 

So needless to say, I have learned real quick that my journey has just begun. I have a lot to look forward to! Probably the most exciting thing in the near future, is my next appointment! It's only one week away now! Assuming everything goes as planned, and baby Haney cooperates, we should find out the sex of the baby, at which point we can finally share the name we have picked out! And of course, this little mama can finally go shopping!!!! 

I love you sweet baby Haney, and I know you're destined for greatness. God has already anointed you to change the world, he told mommy and daddy so this past weekend. So we have a big responsibility in raising you. We gotta get it right, because we don't just live this life for us, but for a far greater purpose that only we can fulfill with God's help. Don't worry though, we'll do our best to teach you that. I can't wait to see you walk in the anointing placed on your life before you even make your debut on earth. You're gonna do big things, little one. We love you!

I need.....some oxygen!

In the words of Madea in the "Diary of a mad black woman", all I could think the past couple weeks after climbing the stairs to our apartment was

"Bring me...some oxygen....I need...oxygen"

Sooooo that's what prompted me, "Mal, you should probably start exercising again". See, once I found out I was pregnant, I pretty much stopped all physical exercise. Being my first kid, I freak out about everything! I was too afraid of unknowingly doing something that might harm the tiny life that had just begun in me. So I decided to wait it out through my first trimester, doing little more than the occasional walk on the treadmill during my lunch break. I initially gained 5 pounds, then lost 5 pounds, and am now at a break even point. So really, it's not bothered me too much until lately, just because I don't feel I should be so winded after a couple flights of stairs. So I started back at it, slowly, last night. I did a few lunges up and down the hallway, and different variations of body weight squats. I never knew my legs could be sore from body weight squats. It is that bad.

It's a work in progress, but you gotta start somewhere right?

Thanks to the bellyband my mom so graciously purchased for me, I am able to wear my skinny jeans again! Even the hair-twisty trick wasn't working with those babies! So thanks mom!  Now I can actually dress cute again, and not worry about someone seeing my pants flap wide open! My mom also told me about my new favorite secret weapon! It is a stretch mark creme called "Mother's friend". It smells nice and clean, and isn't greasy feeling! It supposedly worked wonders for my mom, not gaining a single stretch mark from us kids, so I'm excited about it. I apply it religiously about 3 times a day, once in the morning, once after work, and once before bed. I'm sure I'll up the dosage in the next few weeks! 

Oh hey! I turned 14 weeks yesterday! Happy day! Baby is the size of a lemon! I will have another preggo-pic at 16 weeks to share with you all!

In the meantime, here are a few fun tid-bits for my 14 week progress!

Total weight gain :  I'm proud to say, none. Yet.

Maternity Clothes?  Still wearing my normal clothes. Maxi dresses are going to become my friend. Most comfortable things ever!

Stretch Marks? Not on my stomach.........

Best moment this week?  The excitement of wearing skinny jeans again! (lame, I know lol)

Anything make you queasy or sick? Still just mexican food as of now.

Gender? Coming soon... ;) Trust me, once we know, it is ON with the shopping!

Belly button in or out? Still in right now!

Miss anything? Sushi. I know i can have it every now and again, but the cravings happen more than "every now and again".

Food cravings? Nothing new really, I have eaten a lot of fudge pops. I eat more pickled okra than normal, and always crave sweet tea.

Symptoms? Morning sickness has pretty much gone away. I get a random wave of nausea from certain smells. My back and hips ache sometimes when laying down, which makes for a rough night of sleep. Oh, and frequent bathroom trips!

Happy or moody most of the time? Lately, I've been pretty happy, happy, happy! I think the mood swings have subsided for just the time being. I'm sure Mike is happy about that part!

Looking forward to? Knowing the gender, and feeling the baby move for the first time!

Well, that's all for tonight! Goodnight friends!

You have got to be kidding me!

You know those posts people put on their Facebook status', and you read it and immediately think, "Why would you share that with the world? TMI?".....Well I'm about to be that girl. But hey, that is precisely why I started a blog, so that I don't blow up Facebook and annoy everyone with every little thought I have. A blog is out of sight, out of mind, so if you care, it's here, if you could care less, it's not all up in your face :) You're welcome.

So I made a discovery Saturday that made me think "You have got to be kidding me!". Just when you think you've hit and gone through the "I have to pee every 5 seconds" phase, my friend, it has only just begun. Which isn't the most fun thing to learn when you've got an all day shopping day planned with your mom and 18 month old niece!  It's fun enough maneuvering that stroller in and out of Saturday-before-school-starts traffic at the mall, let alone when you have to go back and forth between the bathroom between just about every single store. I mean I couldn't complete the simple task of trying on outfits in a store because by the time I found something I'd like to try on, I had to go. My mom was a trooper, never huffing or giving me a hard time!

Now, I'm a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a God-ordained reason. (Except knats I'll never understand those.) So I began thinking, maybe the frequent bathroom breaks are to prepare me for the numerous times I'll have to stop and change a diaper or feed the baby when he or she is here. So my frustration and eye-rolling with each trip turned to smiles and a slight chuckle to myself.

I hear women complain all the time about how awful being pregnant is, and being only 14 weeks this coming Wednesday, I can't say I completely get it, but at the same time, I do. Its a huge shock to the body, for some more so than others.

You're very much like the Katy Perry song, "You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, in then you're out, you're up then you're down.... You don't really want stay, you don't really wanna go".

It's a lot to take in, especially when you feel bipolar emotionally, physically, mentally and even spiritually 24 hours a days. Exhausting to say in the least. For me though, even taking all of that into account, next to my salvation, and marrying my husband, being pregnant with this child has been the most enjoyable and blessed experience of my entire life. It's going to be hard to hold a candle to.

Thinking about the milestones we'll be hitting in the coming future....first smile, first coo, first roll-over, first crawl, first step....and so many more, it makes me tear up. Then, to make matters worse, all of you parents sending your babies to Kindergarten for their fist day today, makes me realize I need to soak up every single moment, because "life is but a vapor, it appears for a little while and then vanishes away." (James 4:14) All too soon this baby will grow from inside my belly, to the insides of a school classroom, to the inside of their first car, to the inside of their first apartment, to the inside of their first marriage, and then have a baby of their own. But for now, I'm going to enjoy what God has given us, and savor every moment. 

For closing today, I'd like to add a little two-cents from the daddy-to-be. This is on the spot, without reading my blog first. I just hollered at him 2 seconds before adding this part and said "What's your two cents on this whole baby thing? I wanna share that tonight!" This is his candid response....

 "Well, I could tell you as much as I hope you're a boy, because mom has bought a ton already, I'm just ready to find out, because mom has been freaking out. I love you regardless of what you're gonna be, I'm just ready to see you".

And on that note, obviously baby Haney, I love you regardless if you're a boy or girl too! Just ready to meet you in February!

Goodnight friends. :)

Catch me if you can!

The tagline is exactly what I feel like is going to be the catch phrase for our little one! Especially after today's ultrasound! But we'll get to that in a minute.

The past couple days have been HEAVENLY! I finally have my energy back, and don't feel like a walking zombie, counting down until my next napping opportunity! I can somewhat eat normal now. Mexican food still makes me feel sick thinking about it, and I really can't think about touching raw chicken still. Aside from that, I'm fine! I made cajun alfredo seafood pasta last night. It wasn't bad. I couldn't eat a ton, because the seafood smell was overwhelming. Mike enjoyed it though! Maybe its a post-pregnancy recipe.

I'm beginning to show a little bit! People who don't know me probably can't tell, but if you knew how flat my stomach WAS....compared to now, its pretty obvious. I was kind-of encouraged today at the doctor! I actually weigh 5 pounds less than I did at my last appointment 4 weeks ago. So that puts me back at my break even point pre-pregnancy, because I initially GAINED 5 pounds. So that was a good thing, and the doctor said it was completely normal!

Seeing our baby today was so unreal. It actually looks like a baby now, verses a gummy bear. Let me tell you now, this child is going to be on the move! It was wiggling around dancing, and then even lifted it's leg up by its head for a second! It was cracking me up. I picture it being a mini-me, who loves to be at the center of attention, combined with a mini-mike who likes to show off! I was wishing I could take the ultrasound machine home with us so I could just watch him or her grow and develop! On my next appointment, we will get to find out if it is a little boy, or a little girl, at which time we'll announce the name we've had picked out for a while now! Trust me, the anticipation is killing me! I tried to get a peek today to see if they would show the goods early, but to no avail.

Last night I got out one of my little dresses I usually would only wear when I'm in good shape. I put it on for fun, so I could see just how much I was showing. At 13 weeks, the baby is the size of a peach. He/she measured at 6cm today, right on target.

Mommy and Daddy already love you like crazy little one. You're going to rock our world in February, and we couldn't be more ready! Please be nice to mommy as you grow, don't kick too hard, and I won't eat too much spicy food. Deal? Ok. (Also, don't expect this bargaining thing to continue once you get here. I know a lot of your friends will have mommy and daddy pressed under their thumb, and rule the roost, but not you. What mom and dad says goes, and you'll know it's because we love you :)

And so it begins...

I found out I was pregnant when I was about 3 weeks along. 

This is the uncensored story of our journey from that day forward. Let me catch you up to where we are now.

When I took the first pregnancy test, it wasn't for me. I already knew in my heart, (and because of some fun cues my body was sending), that life inside of me had began growing. I took it because I knew a simple "Babe I'm pregnant, trust me."just would not cut it with Mike. In fact, even the first 2 tests I took wasn't enough proof for him. See, anyone who knows me knows I am notorious for pulling pranks. So when I initially told Mike we were expecting (with a really cute dog tag on Mojo, our Yorkie that said "BIG BROTHER") his reaction was not the huge hug and excitement I had envisioned. It went more like this, even after showing him 2 positive tests:

Mike- "What? Nuh-uh. You can take another one tomorrow"

Me- "There are 2 very positive tests, it won't change by tomorrow"

Mike- "Get 2 or 3 other brands and test this week, then I'll believe it"

So I did just that. About $50 and 8 tests from 4 different brands later, he finally believed me! Or so I had thought. On our first doctor's appointment to confirm what we had discovered, he still asked the nurse "So when will we know that this is legit?" To which the nurse responds, and I quote "Unless she handed me someone else's pee in that cup, she's very pregnant". At this point I guess he still thinks this is an elaborate prank somehow.

About a week and a half after the first appointment, we went back for the first ultrasound so we could see just how far along we were. Since we weren't really trying, it was anyone's guess as to how far we were exactly. Turns out, we were 9 weeks and 1 day! 

Now when I said "weren't really trying", let me explain. On May 28th, our 2 year anniversary, we had decided to start trying, and didn't say anything to anyone. With my history of bad-luck with certain birth controls, I just knew it would take us 6-12 months to have any success, and was ok with that! Well, if you do the math, like Mike and I did immediately after we left the appointment, we discovered we had actually conceived about 2 weeks before we had decided to "try". So it was confirmation to me, that this was in fact a God thing!

At just before 10 weeks, we broke the news to all of our friends and family. That was the hardest secret to keep, and the most fun secret to reveal! We were reminded of how amazing of a support system we have, and re-affirmed of how much love this little boy/girl is going to feel!

Up until I was about 10 weeks, I suffered from extreme nausea, mainly at night. Throughout the day, my main issues were food aversions, never being able to eat without regretting it 10 minutes later, and exhaustion. Mexican food went from being my favorite of all time, to making me gag at the sight of it. I could hardly make it through my work-day without taking a power nap on my 30 minute lunch. I also had periodic headaches which I attributed to the caffeine withdrawal.  

Week 11 is when the food aversions finally started to go away, and all I wanted was kid foods like spaghetti-o's and pizza lunchables. I also craved greasy foods, and my choice was usually either Chicken Nuggets from McDonalds (gross, I know!!) or a Cheeseburger from Sonic. However I really had to be careful because heartburn was always sure to follow! (Note to future pregnant self...heartburn is worse than you remember, please don't give me greasy foods!) I discovered Starbucks made decaf Fraps, and threw a fit when Mike wouldn't make a run for me at 10:00PM one night. After realizing he wasn't going to give in, I took my pajama-clad, hot-mess self and went! THAT'S how bad the cravings get. My friend Portia had tried to tell me a long time ago, but I dismissed the idea, thinking I had this will-power of steel mentality. I have never been more wrong in my life. Cravings always win. Always.

That's pretty much how I have been until 12 weeks 5 days, which is today. It has finally settled in, that Mike and I are going to be parents. February 19th is our expected due date as of now. It seems so far away, but at the same time SO near. Wednesday we go for our 13 week check-up, where we will get to see baby Haney on ultrasound again! I can't wait to see him! (Yes, him. I've had 4 dreams its a boy, but we'll save that for another blog.) While I'm doing this blog mainly for Mike and I, and future pregnancies, I hope you get some entertainment from our story. It will be raw, and real. God Bless!

 (12 weeks 1 day)