Who Knew?

Who knew that Monday morning, January 27th at 1:07am, when I thought I was having another stomach ache, that I had actually begun active labor.....

Who knew that when I went to the doctor at 1:00pm that same day, that I would be calling my husband and family to let them know our baby girl would soon be joining us.....

I always thought that I had a high pain tolerance, but when the nurse asked me how I wasn't curled in pain after seeing the intensity of my contractions on the monitor, I really learned the extent of my tolerance...who knew?

At 36 weeks and 5 days, being caught off guard a little early, who knew my husband and I would find ourselves like deer in headlights, as it began to settle in, these were in fact our last few hours as 2, and we'd soon become 3.....

Who knew it was possible to feel so much love from the people around you? I mean from the time I arrived at the hospital clinic for my check up, I was met by my aunt Carol, who was in a battle in her own mind, missing her baby boy....yet there she was, my support. Then just minutes after being checked into a room and being connected to IV's and such, people began flooding in! Everyone from my husband, parents, siblings, grand-parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, church family...you name it, anyone and everyone was there.

At 9:31PM, the heat was on, as we began working on getting our sweet girl here. Who knew that I could long so much to hear the cry of a newborn baby? 18 minutes later, by 9:49pm, Londyn Brooke Haney made her precious debut into our world. Her dad and I cried, but quickly wiped our tears that turned into the biggest, cheesiest smiles that seemed permanently impressed on our faces. Holding such a perfect baby girl, and knowing she was ours, it was a bit overwhelming.

As time passed and the doctors ran test after test, who knew that the baby girl God had given us would become a little fighter on her own? See, since she was born before 37 weeks, she was technically premature, and was acting like it. She didn't completely latch on for nursing, and when she did, she couldn't stay awake long enough to get the nutrition she needed. She was burning more calories than she could take in. She lost 14 ounces from her birth weight by her 2nd day of life. That was hard to hear. Then the doctor proceeded to tell us that her bilirubin levels, which are measurements for jaundice, were unusually high. We tried nursing more often, and also tried supplementing formula to help with her weight. This should have helped with weight, as well as flushing of the bilirubin in her system. Should have....

Who knew that even though Londyn was born on Monday, we wouldn't find ourselves leaving the hospital until Thursday? The time in between those days were scary and stressful for new parents. I cried multiple times a day, because it didn't seem fair to me that such a small baby was having to fight so hard, when she had just gotten here. It was tough to stay in good spirits when each time the doctors or nurses came in, they didn't have good news, she was still losing weight, and her bilirubin levels had only risen. I am thankful for one angel of a nurse that God sent our way. Her name was Beth. Though my mom is also angel who helped tremendously, I'm actually talking about a different Beth, at the hospital. She could see I was stressed and scared the last time they came in and told us despite our efforts, Londyn had still lost weight. She mentioned the holy spirit, and told me that I was too tired and needed to hand this battle over to Jesus, Londyn was going to be just fine. Her words brought such a peace over me. It was as if God's voice was speaking directly through her to me. That is when I KNEW, someone at home in my family, or from my church, someone had been praying and reaching heaven for us.

We finally got to go home Thursday, and who knew a couch could feel SO comfortable to sleep on? We got the best rest we could, because we had her first Dr appointment on Friday. The appointment was bitter sweet. We were overjoyed to learn Londyn had gained 2 ounces! When we learned that her bilirubin level had spiked to 18.6, I was terrified. When Mike asked what exactly that meant, the Doctor began to explain, and my mind froze and I drifted into a dark spot hearing a blur of words like "Seizure"..."possible brain damage"...."cerebral palsy"....I had never been more scared in my life. We went straight to the hospital to have tests run, and then shortly after, met with a gentleman to pick up a bili-light phototherapy kit. We were told to leave her under the light around the clock, only taking her out for nursing and changing diapers. That was so hard, watching her lay under such a bright light, just out of my reach. At the same time, I knew it was going to help her, so I did my best to keep her under the light as much as possible.

Monday finally rolled around, who knew a Monday could make me so happy? See, Mike and I (along with many others) had prayed and were believing for a good report from the doctor later that afternoon. Well....a good report is what we expected, but a GREAT report is what we got. Her weight was up from 6 pounds 9 ounces on Friday, to 6 pounds 14 ounces on Monday! She had gained 5 whole ounces! Phenomenal! Then, we tested her bilirubin levels. Those had dropped from the high 18.6 on Friday, down to 4.8 on Monday! I was beside myself!! I would have been happy for ANY weight gain, and ANY drop in bilirubin levels! But God showed out, and out-did himself! I wanted to shout my way out of that doctor's office!

We quickly and gladly sent the phototherapy kit back to the company this morning, and mom and dad have enjoyed some much needed, and very-much missed cuddle time with our baby girl! WHO KNEW so much love and pride and joy could radiate from our hearts for such a tiny human being?

The love a parent has for their child is truly something special. It is something you could never possibly understand until you become a parent yourself. I believe it puts the rest of life into perspective. Who knew that the things that once seemed important, just dont amount to a hill of beans anymore. All that you care about is the safety, security and happiness of your baby. It gives me a new found appreciation for my parents and the love and upbringing they have given me. Londyn may not grow up with the newest nieces clothes, devices, cars, or whatever....but I can promise you this, she will NEVER go a day without knowing she is loved and treasured as a beautiful princess!

Slow Down, Love.

It has been far too long since I last updated this blog! The holidays and winter weather has thrown any routine in my life out the window! It has been hard finding time to just sit down and take a breath, let alone write a blog! Today though, I am making myself stop, and make note of today's events, even though I'm sure it's something I won't forget.

It started last night. I got home after a long great day of Sunday church, friends and family! We had eaten Jim's Razorback Pizza for dinner, I was full, fat, happy, and satisfied! I went in to change into some PJ's, and realized my little toes and feet weren't so little anymore. My ankles were now cankles, and my once shapely legs looked like tree stumps. My nose had "swollen across my face" as Gamma Rosie Barnett had so eloquently put it, and my wedding ring nearly embedded into my skin. At the direction of my mother, I sat down and propped my feet up, so as to help with the swelling. I attributed the swelling to the amount of water I had been drinking these past few weeks. I probably average anywhere from 150-200 ounces a day. I did tell my doctor about this, but it raised no flags. My gestational diabetes test was not even borderline close to alarming, and up until last night, I had seen no sign of swelling.

I went to sleep, had a decent night of sleep, until 6:15-6:30ish. I was awoken by what I thought was the worst stomach ache I had ever experienced. I started getting up and around for work, the pain seemed to come and go, and intensify randomly! I texted my sister around 7:30 and asked her what heartburn/indigestion felt like, and explained to her what I was feeling. She said what I was feeling didn't sound anything like either heartburn or indigestion. She asked "You aren't having contractions are you?". I told her I wasn't really sure, it hadn't crossed my mind, but now that I was thinking, it would make sense. The pain had only gotten worse, and intensified all morning, no relief in sight. So she suggested I start timing when the pain intensified. Shortly after 8 I did just that. By that point, I knew these were in fact contractions.

They were coming on every 7-8 minutes, then progressed to every 4-6 minutes. I called my doctor and explained to the nurse what was happening, she finally called back, and told me to come in, just in case, and to check things out. I hopped in my car, and put my hazard lights on, (speeding slightly) to the hospital. By this point, my contractions were as close as 3 minutes apart. I was praying out loud the whole way, while also yelling at 18-wheelers to MOVE!!! ;)

I had texted my aunt Carol on my way in to the hospital, knowing she worked there, and knowing I would need a little support until Mike and my parents got there. She met me at the front door and went with me up to the clinic, and met with the doctor. Can't thank my aunt enough for being there, she was my saving grace, keeping me calm! I couldn't imagine being there by myself for all of this. About 15-20 minutes after I arrived, I got to see a doctor! He performed a pelvic exam and gave me some alarming news. Londyn was in my pelvic region, I was dilated to a 3, and 80% effaced.

"You are in pre-term labor"

Those are the scariest words for any mother, let alone a first time mother to hear. He got in my face and assured me that we would either slow these contractions and hold off labor, or we would have a baby today, and she would be JUST fine. He was amazing, and did calm my nerves a bit. My aunt Carol hugged me and prayed with me and assured me everything would be fine. She called Mike, my parents, and sister for me, and let them know what was going on.

From there I went to the emergency room and was hooked up to monitors and IV's of medicine and fluids. Mike arrived, and shortly after my parents and little brother were all there too. Mom even brought her camera, "just in case". My contractions continued to slow down and become less intense over time. After a few hours, I received the fantastic news that I could go home! They said to take it easy and rest as much as possible. The doctor in the ER informed me that it's possible I could be back in as little as an hour, or I could hold out a couple more weeks! At this point, it's just a waiting game. I time any painful contractions I may have, and anytime I feel "off", I am told to stop what I'm doing and relax.

Relaxing is hard to do for me now, because I feel like I have SO much to do to prepare for Londyn's arrival! I made a list for our hospital bag, and with the help of my sweet husband and mother, I'm getting all laundry caught up and our room cleaned and prepared for baby Londyn. I also am making a point of washing my hair every night BEFORE bed, and making sure I have my make up bag handy, so that when the time comes, I won't go in looking like a hot mess again like I did today lol.

For the friends and family who may be thinking "You should have texted or called me!"....I promise when the real thing happens, everyone will know! I just didn't want to alarm anyone prematurely, and quite frankly, I was too scared and nervous to even THINK about informing people. Safety of my baby was all that was on my mind. For those that did know, thanks for all your prayers and encouragement! Our God is SO good, and SO faithful!