Who Knew?

Who knew that Monday morning, January 27th at 1:07am, when I thought I was having another stomach ache, that I had actually begun active labor.....

Who knew that when I went to the doctor at 1:00pm that same day, that I would be calling my husband and family to let them know our baby girl would soon be joining us.....

I always thought that I had a high pain tolerance, but when the nurse asked me how I wasn't curled in pain after seeing the intensity of my contractions on the monitor, I really learned the extent of my tolerance...who knew?

At 36 weeks and 5 days, being caught off guard a little early, who knew my husband and I would find ourselves like deer in headlights, as it began to settle in, these were in fact our last few hours as 2, and we'd soon become 3.....

Who knew it was possible to feel so much love from the people around you? I mean from the time I arrived at the hospital clinic for my check up, I was met by my aunt Carol, who was in a battle in her own mind, missing her baby boy....yet there she was, my support. Then just minutes after being checked into a room and being connected to IV's and such, people began flooding in! Everyone from my husband, parents, siblings, grand-parents, aunts and uncles, cousins, church family...you name it, anyone and everyone was there.

At 9:31PM, the heat was on, as we began working on getting our sweet girl here. Who knew that I could long so much to hear the cry of a newborn baby? 18 minutes later, by 9:49pm, Londyn Brooke Haney made her precious debut into our world. Her dad and I cried, but quickly wiped our tears that turned into the biggest, cheesiest smiles that seemed permanently impressed on our faces. Holding such a perfect baby girl, and knowing she was ours, it was a bit overwhelming.

As time passed and the doctors ran test after test, who knew that the baby girl God had given us would become a little fighter on her own? See, since she was born before 37 weeks, she was technically premature, and was acting like it. She didn't completely latch on for nursing, and when she did, she couldn't stay awake long enough to get the nutrition she needed. She was burning more calories than she could take in. She lost 14 ounces from her birth weight by her 2nd day of life. That was hard to hear. Then the doctor proceeded to tell us that her bilirubin levels, which are measurements for jaundice, were unusually high. We tried nursing more often, and also tried supplementing formula to help with her weight. This should have helped with weight, as well as flushing of the bilirubin in her system. Should have....

Who knew that even though Londyn was born on Monday, we wouldn't find ourselves leaving the hospital until Thursday? The time in between those days were scary and stressful for new parents. I cried multiple times a day, because it didn't seem fair to me that such a small baby was having to fight so hard, when she had just gotten here. It was tough to stay in good spirits when each time the doctors or nurses came in, they didn't have good news, she was still losing weight, and her bilirubin levels had only risen. I am thankful for one angel of a nurse that God sent our way. Her name was Beth. Though my mom is also angel who helped tremendously, I'm actually talking about a different Beth, at the hospital. She could see I was stressed and scared the last time they came in and told us despite our efforts, Londyn had still lost weight. She mentioned the holy spirit, and told me that I was too tired and needed to hand this battle over to Jesus, Londyn was going to be just fine. Her words brought such a peace over me. It was as if God's voice was speaking directly through her to me. That is when I KNEW, someone at home in my family, or from my church, someone had been praying and reaching heaven for us.

We finally got to go home Thursday, and who knew a couch could feel SO comfortable to sleep on? We got the best rest we could, because we had her first Dr appointment on Friday. The appointment was bitter sweet. We were overjoyed to learn Londyn had gained 2 ounces! When we learned that her bilirubin level had spiked to 18.6, I was terrified. When Mike asked what exactly that meant, the Doctor began to explain, and my mind froze and I drifted into a dark spot hearing a blur of words like "Seizure"..."possible brain damage"...."cerebral palsy"....I had never been more scared in my life. We went straight to the hospital to have tests run, and then shortly after, met with a gentleman to pick up a bili-light phototherapy kit. We were told to leave her under the light around the clock, only taking her out for nursing and changing diapers. That was so hard, watching her lay under such a bright light, just out of my reach. At the same time, I knew it was going to help her, so I did my best to keep her under the light as much as possible.

Monday finally rolled around, who knew a Monday could make me so happy? See, Mike and I (along with many others) had prayed and were believing for a good report from the doctor later that afternoon. Well....a good report is what we expected, but a GREAT report is what we got. Her weight was up from 6 pounds 9 ounces on Friday, to 6 pounds 14 ounces on Monday! She had gained 5 whole ounces! Phenomenal! Then, we tested her bilirubin levels. Those had dropped from the high 18.6 on Friday, down to 4.8 on Monday! I was beside myself!! I would have been happy for ANY weight gain, and ANY drop in bilirubin levels! But God showed out, and out-did himself! I wanted to shout my way out of that doctor's office!

We quickly and gladly sent the phototherapy kit back to the company this morning, and mom and dad have enjoyed some much needed, and very-much missed cuddle time with our baby girl! WHO KNEW so much love and pride and joy could radiate from our hearts for such a tiny human being?

The love a parent has for their child is truly something special. It is something you could never possibly understand until you become a parent yourself. I believe it puts the rest of life into perspective. Who knew that the things that once seemed important, just dont amount to a hill of beans anymore. All that you care about is the safety, security and happiness of your baby. It gives me a new found appreciation for my parents and the love and upbringing they have given me. Londyn may not grow up with the newest nieces clothes, devices, cars, or whatever....but I can promise you this, she will NEVER go a day without knowing she is loved and treasured as a beautiful princess!